Quick Update
April 27th, 2024
Life has been quiet lately, at least for me. University has been going well, I have many ideas for articles and coursework; and now it no longer feels like I'm drowning, that feeling long ago faded, to be honest.
I have decided to postpone the development of my undergraduate thesis, at least until August, because it doesn't feel good to start late and ask for extensions. Waiting is the best decision at this time. Still, I have to put in time and effort because I have many issues in the air.
The future remains unknown, but I have decided to try not to care too much about that. It's a bit useless to spend time thinking and thinking about tomorrow and end up worrying about something that hasn't happened yet.
I'm really surprised I wrote that, when panic about the future has been the way I've lived these past few years. But it's good to realize that I'm healing, that eventually I'll be completely fine. This struggle with my depression has been very complex and there were many moments in which I was on the verge of giving up, but I didn't and that makes me happy.
Now I'm very curious to know where I'll be in a couple of years, what kind of things I'll be doing. I just hope I don't relapse the way I did before, anything other than that is a win to be honest.
I recently went to my University's Heritage Archive. I was so surprised by what I encountered. There were many old personal papers (letters, journals, telegrams and photos), of prominent figures of the XIX century in my city.
I was really scared of like touching those papers (with gloves, of course), because some of them were so thin it looked like they were gonna fall apart just by looking at them. Time ended up flying fast. I went there against my will (I had to do a quick visit to check the condition of the place), I was hungry and annoyed because my class partner wouldn't do it. I left three hours later. I don't know how that happen.
There was something so intrinsically strange and sublime about being in the presence of things people wrote more than 100 years ago. I felt small and really lucky.
I don't know when I'm going again, but I will because that place was magic.